My Symptoms #2

The medical term for my speech difficulty is dysarthria. Another term that may apply is aphasia. I understand what’s being said and I know how I want to reply but I have a hard time getting my words out. If I need to get something out quick it’s almost impossible. In this fast paced world I don’t stand a chance; people usually finish my sentences for me. I’ve been telling my family I’m going to develop my own language! I feel like this symptom has progressed the fastest, or maybe it’s because I’m a talker!

It’s helpful if I sing. I like to practice singing Celtic/Irish/Scottish tunes. The lyrics are fun and sung at a rapid, tongue-twister pace. Some of my favorite lyrics are:

• Mary Mack’s mother’s makin’ Mary Mack  marry me, my mother’s makin’ me marry Mary Mack.
• The day that Darcy’s drunken donkey won the race at Donegal
• A bung bee stung me up above the knee
• Around the ragged rocks, the ragged rocks go round

There’s more but you get the gist of it. I’m able to sing along (sometimes) just not as fast. I also use tongue twisters for practice.

My dialogue gets worse when I’m tired. I need to take breaks when I write posts for this blog. Sometimes when I finish writing I can’t be understood at all!  When we have gatherings where I’m required to talk a lot I get overwhelmed and feel like my brain needs to rest. I feel the same when I’m overstimulated or anxious about being in a new or strange invirornment.

I try suck it up because what’s the worst thing that may happen? Sometimes it’s embarrassing when I’m trying to speak to strangers. Although I’ve learned to say I have trouble speaking it’s still difficult for me.  Most of the time I don’t join in to the conversation out of fear. Who wants to sound “different”? Who wants to have people wait while you struggle to get a sentence out; a sentence that may be hard to understand? All this fear comes from vanity. People have always been kind and patient with me. I need to “practice” getting out of my own way. But some things are easier said than done.

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